Blogpostus Interruptus

I had big plans for today’s blog post. I’m cleaning out my closet and organizing it and was going to post about that.  I always love cleaning out my closet because (a) I get to purge things that don’t fit/I don’t want/are worn out/etc. and (b) I get to pull out and remember all the great clothes I have for the upcoming season.  And I get to organize it all so it’s nice and neat.  Sounds great, right?

Enter: one five-year-old little girl.

M is going through a phase right now where she cannot get enough of my attention.  She is usually very good, although she certainly has a devilish streak in her.  But now she is doing everything she can to get my attention, negative or positive.  I have to tell her five times to do something before she does it. If I tell her not to do something, she immediately does it.  Yes, this is all normal-ish five-year-old behavior…it’s just that it’s not usually her behavior.

Tonight, as I looked forward to finishing my closet, taking pictures, and writing my post, M melted down.  Everything was a disaster.  There was a lot of crying.  There was a lot of mess (I’ll leave it at that). There was a lot of clean up.  I was ticked.  She seemed delighted to see me.  Grumble.

I get why she’s vying for my attention…there are so many things that pull on my attention and she wants to make sure she gets her share.  I get that.  But I also get that I have a full-time job.  I have a son, too, who happens to be having trouble with reading and needs help with that and other homework, too.  I make all meals, grocery shop, take care of the dogs, take care of all of us. And I have this blog, which I love, love, love writing and which has become my new passion that I want to pursue and make into something great.

Not that long ago, there was an article (actually, several, but one especially that got attention in the media) about how women just can’t have it all.  I’ve always had a problem with that phrase (“have it all”) because “all” is defined differently for different women.  But as a woman who has a full-time job, is a wife, is a mom, has chores to do, and has a hobby to pursue into something bigger (maybe? Hopefully), I freely admit that I cannot have it all.  I can’t do it all.

I am exhausted.  I am overweight.  I don’t have time to get to the gym.  I don’t have time to finish cleaning out my closet, even, because right now I have too many demands on my time and not enough hours in the day.  And no, I don’t get up at 5 AM and I’m not going to start.

Today, I only stopped moving once.  I made breakfast for the kids. I took them to a playdate. I taught my class. I picked up the kids.  We came home and I ate lunch.  We had some rest time – that was good – then we went to the store and to the hardware store so we could make s’mores in our fire pit.  Then I made dinner, then cleaned up dinner, then cleaned up fire pit, took out trash, cleaned dog poop off D’s shoes, did two loads of laundry, and dealt with the melting-down M. I worked on my closet. I took the dogs out. And it’s 10:15 PM and I haven’t even done any work for my real job and I have papers to review.

Is my story unique?  Heck no.  I’m grateful that we aren’t battling a serious illness or something devastating like that (KNOCK WOOD).  What’s taxing my schedule is largely of my own making and nothing that can’t be dealt with somehow.

M and I have a mommy-daughter “date” this Sunday.  Just us girls.  Maybe that will help.  In the meantime, I’m just going to take deep breaths.

And, hopefully, my next post will be about my closet being done.

As always, thank you for stopping by.